100 Relationship Check in Questions For Deepening Your Bond

Ever find yourself wondering if your relationship is on the right track? It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to check in with your loved one. However, maintaining open lines of communication is key to a healthy relationship.

One simple yet effective way to do this is by asking each other relationship check-in questions. This doesn't mean harrassing your partner with questions at dinner. Instead, it's about engaging in meaningful conversations that explore your feelings, expectations, and experiences together.

10 Types of Relationship Checks

Daily Communication

Maintaining daily communication with your partner seems straightforward, right? Yet, it’s often overlooked in the agitation of our daily routines. Regular check-ins help in understanding each other's needs, preventing misunderstandings, and genuinely connecting. But remember, it’s not about the quantity of these conversations; it’s the quality that makes the difference.

"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." - Albert Einstein

Although Einstein might not have been referring to relationship check-ins, his sentiment about the value of human interaction is what matters here. So, let’s put down our phones and really talk. Here are some questions you might consider:

1. How was your day, really?
2. Did anything interesting happen today?
3. What made you smile today?
4. Was there anything that upset you today?
5. How can I make your day better tomorrow?
6. Did you feel appreciated by me today?
7. Is there anything you’re worried about that you’d like to talk about?
8. What can we do together in the coming days?
9. Did we make any decisions today that we need to revisit?
10. Is there anything you learned today that you’d like to share?

Weekly Routine

As we settle into our weekly routines, it's easy for days to blend together and for us to miss the little moments that make our relationships special. Scheduling a weekly check-in can prevent this and ensure we're prioritizing our relationship amidst busy schedules.

This is your time to reflect on the week gone by and to plan for the week ahead. The goal? To find a balance between individual needs and shared goals. So, let's make sure we're setting aside time for fun and connection. Here are some helpful questions to fuel your weekly routine check-in:

1. How balanced did our work-life feel this past week?
2. What was the highlight of the week for us?
3. Were there any challenges we faced together this week?
4. How did we support each other this week?
5. Is there a habit we could work on together to improve our relationship?
6. Did we make enough time for intimacy and connection?
7. What’s one thing we’re looking forward to next week?
8. Are we facing any stressors coming up?
9. How can we help each other out in the coming week?
10. Have we planned any couple's activity for next week?

Monthly Emotions

On a monthly basis, we go through lots of emotions. From the highs of achievements to the lows of setbacks, it's important to share and understand the emotional undertones of our partner’s life. This monthly emotional check-in aims at understanding each other's emotional states and needs over the last month. It’s about creating a safe space to express vulnerabilities, joys, and fears.

Remember, no man is an island, and sharing our inner emotional journey can be profoundly bonding. Sharing your heart can bridge emotional distances. Consider these questions for your monthly emotional check-up:

1. What made you feel loved this month?
2. Did you have any persistent worries or anxieties this month?
3. How did you feel about our relationship this month?
4. What was the happiest moment for you this month?
5. Did you feel you could share your emotions freely this month?
6. What can I do to better support you emotionally?
7. Was there anything that disappointed you this month?
8. How can we improve our emotional connection?
9. What are you most grateful for this month?
10. Are there any unresolved issues that we need to address?

Quarterly Goals

Every three months, it might be beneficial to make sure you're both heading in the direction you want. This is your quarterly goals check. Reflecting on shared objectives and setting new ones can keep your relationship dynamic and forward-moving.

Always keep in mind that a goal without a plan is just a wish. By setting concrete objectives, you are committing to each other and the future you envision together. Here's a list of questions that can guide your discussion:

1. Are we on track with the goals we set for ourselves?
2. What accomplishments are we proud of in the last quarter?
3. What challenges did we face in achieving our goals?
4. How can we better support each other in reaching our goals?
5. Do we need to adjust any of our goals based on our current situation?
6. What are our top priorities for the next quarter?
7. Do we have a plan in place to tackle these priorities?
8. Are there any new goals we want to set?
9. Is there a joint project or goal we can work on together?
10. How do our individual goals align with our goals as a couple?

Yearly Commitment

As the year comes to a close, it offers a natural moment for reflection – a time to sit down together and discuss the past year in depth. This annual check-in is about examining your commitment to each other and the relationship's growth over the year. It's also an opportune time to express your hopes and fears for the year ahead.

"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." - C.S. Lewis

Reflecting on a whole year can be a profound experience, revealing how much you've both grown and weathered together. Use this time to appreciate the journey you've had and prepare for what's next. Some questions to guide your yearly review:

1. How have we grown as a couple over the past year?
2. What were our biggest challenges and how did we overcome them?
3. Are there areas in our relationship that we've neglected?
4. How has our commitment to each other deepened?
5. What was the most memorable moment for us this past year?
6. What are our hopes for our relationship in the coming year?
7. Is there anything we wish to change or improve on?
8. Have we become better partners to each other?
9. What fears do we have about our future together?
10. How can we make next year even better than this one?

Conflict Resolution

Let’s face it, conflicts are an inevitable part of any relationship. But it’s not the conflicts themselves that define us; it’s how we handle them. Regularly checking in on how you manage disputes can turn a potential drama into opportunities for growth and understanding.

"Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means." Ronald Reagan

This kind of check-in helps ensure that neither partner is holding onto resentment and that both feel heard and understood. Consider these questions for a productive conversation about resolving disputes:

1. How do we usually resolve conflicts, and is it effective?
2. Do we both feel heard and understood during disagreements?
3. Is there something we could do differently to resolve conflicts?
4. Have any recent disputes remained unresolved?
5. How do we feel after a conflict is resolved?
6. What steps can we take to prevent similar conflicts in the future?
7. Do we need a ‘time-out’ rule when arguments get heated?
8. Are we quick to forgive and move on?
9. How can we turn a disagreement into a learning experience?
10. Is there unspoken tension that we need to address?

Gratitude

Focusing on gratitude within your relationship can transform your perspective, highlighting the good over the bad. It's about recognizing the value of your partner and the relationship you've built together. Cultivating a gratitude practice can deepen your connection and bring positivity, even during tough times.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah Winfrey

Here are some questions to build a spirit of appreciation between you and your partner:

1. What are three things you’re thankful for about our relationship?
2. What is one thing I did this week that you appreciate?
3. How do you feel our gratitude practice benefits our relationship?
4. Is there something I’ve done recently that you haven’t thanked me for yet?
5. What strengths do you bring to our relationship that you’re proud of?
6. How can we show appreciation for each other even on tough days?
7. What’s a small act of kindness you noticed from me recently?
8. Have you felt appreciated by me lately, and in what way?
9. How does it feel when we express gratitude towards each other?
10. What can we do to ensure we maintain an attitude of gratitude?

Intimacy

Intimacy is the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship. However, achieving and maintaining intimacy goes beyond physical connection; it's also about emotional closeness, vulnerability, and understanding.

Intimacy is not solely about the physical; it's the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul. Regularly checking in on this aspect of your relationship can ensure you both feel connected and valued. Here are some questions to help deepen your intimate bond:

1. Do you feel emotionally connected to me lately?
2. What's something new you'd like to try together to increase our intimacy?
3. Is there anything that's been making you feel disconnected?
4. How can we make our daily interactions more meaningful?
5. What’s one thing I do that makes you feel loved and valued?
6. Is there a specific way you’d like to be shown love?
7. Have your needs for intimacy changed recently?
8. What's a cherished memory that deepened our intimate connection?
9. How do you feel about our current methods of communicating love?
10. Are we dedicating enough quiet, undistracted time for just the two of us?

Personal Growth

Growth is a never-ending journey, especially within your relationship. Encouraging and supporting each other's personal development can lead to a deeper, more fulfilling connection. Discussing personal ambitions and goals will strengthen your bond and also ensure you are growing both individually and as a couple. Consider these questions:

1. What personal goals are you working towards right now?
2. How can I support you in achieving your personal goals?
3. Have we been encouraging each other's growth effectively?
4. Is there a new skill or hobby you’d like to explore together?
5. Are there aspects of yourself you’d like to develop or change?
6. What’s one thing you learned about yourself recently?
7. How have we grown as a couple in the last year?
8. What challenges have we overcome that have led to personal growth?
9. How do our personal ambitions align with our goals as a couple?
10. What steps can we take to ensure we are growing together and not apart?

Future Aspirations and Dreams

Dreaming together can not only be incredibly fun but also immensely bonding. It's about sharing those big, sometimes outlandish, aspirations that draw you closer and give your partnership direction and hope.

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them" - Walt Disney

Setting aside time to discuss and dream about the future can help align your visions and make sure you're both working towards a shared life that excites and fulfills you. Here are questions to discuss together:

1. What's one dream you've always had but never shared?
2. Where do you see us in five years?
3. If we could do anything, without limitations, what would it be?
4. How do our individual dreams complement each other?
5. Is there a dream you've given up on that you wish to revive?
6. How can we support each other in achieving our dreams?
7. What's one small step we can take this year towards a big dream?
8. Are there any fears holding us back from chasing our dreams?
9. How do our dreams for the future align with our values and goals as a couple?
10. What shared dream can we commit to pursuing together?

Final Thoughts

Taking the time to discuss deeply with your partner through these relationship check-in questions can strengthen your bond, deepen your connection, and align your paths forward.

Remember, the journey of a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires patience, understanding, and regular check-ins. By exploring the areas discussed above, you're more than just coexisting, you're thriving together. So, pick a question or two to start with, and let the conversation flow.

Frequently Asked Questions