Take Your Power Back: 10 Ways to Feel in Control Again

Ever felt like you're watching your life happen from the sidelines, as though you're not in control? Taking your power back means stepping up to claim responsibility for your actions, feelings, and ultimately, where your life is heading.

This journey is about empowering yourself to make choices that align with your values and aspirations. Whether you've lost your sense of power due to past trauma, a challenging relationship, or simply the hustle of daily life, reclaiming it starts with the decision to no longer play a passive role in your own story.

10 Ways to Take Your Power and Life Back

1. Reclaim Your Morning Routine

How you start your day often sets the tone for the rest of it. Taking control of your mornings is a great way to reclaim your power right from the start. Let's break it down:

• Wake up on your terms: Instead of being awakened by an alarm and immediately checking emails or social media, try waking up to pleasant sounds and allow yourself a moment to stretch and awaken peacefully.
• Silence is golden: Spend the first few minutes in silence, meditating or simply sitting with your thoughts. This helps ground you and puts you in the driver’s seat of your mind.
• Empowering rituals: Include an activity that makes you feel good: journaling, a quick workout, reading, or even watering your plants. This will be a daily reminder that you’re in control and capable of positive actions.
• Plan your day: Take a few minutes to prioritize your day's tasks. Knowing what's ahead gives you a sense of control and helps reduce anxiety about the unknown.

"The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude." - Psychologist and author William James

2. Set Boundaries, Not Walls

Boundaries are essential for maintaining your power and personal space, but there's a fine line between setting healthy boundaries and building walls that keep everyone out, including opportunities for growth and connection. It's about balance. You need to protect your energy without isolating yourself from meaningful experiences and relationships. Here's how:

• Identify your limits: Reflect on what makes you feel uncomfortable or drained and recognize these as your limits. It could be certain behaviors from others, work-related stress, or specific social situations.
• Communicate clearly: Once you know your limits, communicate them firmly but kindly. It's not about making demands but expressing your needs respectfully.
• Stick to your guns: It might feel challenging at first, especially if you're not used to asserting yourself, but maintaining your boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Remember, it's okay to say no.
• Be flexible when appropriate: While some boundaries should be non-negotiable, others might allow for flexibility. Being rigid about everything can lead to loneliness and missed opportunities for enriching experiences.

"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others." - Author and researcher Brené Brown

3. Turn Off Auto-pilot Mode

Ever driven home and realized you don’t remember the trip, at all? That's auto-pilot mode—going through life without really being present. This means we miss out on the richness of our experiences, letting days, or even years, pass by unnoticed. Here's how to flip the switch and become more engaged with your life:

• Mindful moments: Make a conscious effort to be present in whatever you’re doing, even if it’s something as simple as washing dishes. Notice the temperature of the water, the scent of the soap, and the sensation of the dishes in your hands.
• Change your routine: Sometimes, we go on auto-pilot because we're stuck in a rut. Try taking a different route to work, experimenting with new recipes, or starting a hobby. Novelty forces your brain to wake up and pay attention.
• Digitally detox: Our devices often make it too easy to disengage from reality. Carve out time each day to disconnect from screens and reconnect with the world around you.
• Practice gratitude: At the end of each day, reflect on three things you’re grateful for. This habit fosters a positive mindset and keeps you anchored in the present.

4. The Power of Saying No

Something as simple as saying no can significantly impact your sense of autonomy. Yet, many of us struggle with it, worried about upsetting others or missing out. However, it's key to set priorities and respect your limits.

• Preserve your energy: Stretching yourself too thin leads to burnout. Saying no allows you to conserve energy for activities that truly matter to you.
• Build self-respect: When you honor your needs and limits, you affirm your value. This fosters self-respect and teaches others to respect you too.
• Create space for yes: Declining what doesn’t align with your priorities creates room for opportunities that do. You can focus on what excites you and aligns with your goals.
• Enhance your decision-making: Each no is a choice that clarifies what’s important to you, making future decisions easier and more aligned with your values.

"The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything." - Warren Buffett

5. Unplug to Plug-in to Real Life

In a world where digital connection is always at our fingertips, it's easy to forget the value of real-life interactions. Constant connectivity can make you feel like you're losing your grip on the present moment and on meaningful relationships. Here’s how unplugging can help you plug back into the real world:

• Set technology boundaries: Assign specific times of the day for checking emails and social media, and stick to them. This helps reduce the compulsive need to be online.
• Find tech-free activities: Engage in activities that don’t require a digital device, like reading a book, going for a walk, or trying a new hobby. It’ll remind you there's a world beyond screens.
• Strengthen relationships: Use the time you'd typically spend on your phone to connect with friends and family face-to-face. Personal interactions are crucial for building stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
• Reconnect with yourself: Spend time alone without digital distractions. This can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and rediscovery.

Unplugging from technology to reconnect with the world around you doesn’t mean you have to go off the grid. It’s about finding balance and making conscious choices to engage with life, people, and activities that enrich your existence.

6. Stay Away from Energy Vampires

We all know people who seem to drain our energy the moment they enter the room. They're the complainers, the pessimists, the ones who always have a problem for every solution. These are the so-called energy vampires, and staying clear of them is crucial for taking your power back. Here’s how you can protect your energy:

• Recognize the signs: Be aware of how you feel around different people. Energy vampires often leave you feeling emotionally exhausted and negative.
• Set emotional boundaries: You don't have to absorb everyone's problems. It’s okay to empathize without taking on someone else's emotional baggage.
• Choose your company wisely: Spend more time with those who uplift you and share your aspirations. Positive relationships support your growth and well-being.
• Don’t be afraid to walk away: Sometimes, the best option is to distance yourself from those who consistently drain your energy. It's not selfish; it's self-care.

7. Cultivate Gratitude, Not Grievances

It's easy to focus on what’s wrong in our lives, on what we lack, or on memories that haunt us. But dwelling on grievances only gives them power over us, robbing us of our ability to enjoy the present. Cultivating gratitude, on the other hand, can transform our perspective and help us take our power back. Implementing a gratitude practice is simpler than you think:

• Start a gratitude journal: Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as a sunny day or a good cup of coffee. This habit shifts your focus to the positive.
• Express appreciation: Make it a point to thank someone each day, whether it's for something big or small. Sharing gratitude strengthens relationships and spreads positivity.
• Find the silver lining: Challenges are a part of life, but there's usually a lesson or a hidden blessing. Look for it, and you’ll start viewing obstacles in a new light.
• Practice mindfulness: Being present allows you to appreciate the moment. Regular mindfulness can enhance your awareness of life's blessings.

Research from UCLA Health shows that gratitude helps improve mental health and also enhances our relationships and overall well-being. By focusing on gratitude, you're choosing to see the richness of your life, taking back your power to feel good about where you are right now.

8. Practice Self-reflection

Self-reflection is another tool for understanding yourself, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and ultimately taking control of your life. It's about looking inward to evaluate where you are, where you've been, and where you want to go.

• Keep a journal: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them more clearly and spot patterns over time.
• Set aside reflection time: Dedicate a few minutes each day to sit quietly and reflect on your day, your reactions, and your progress toward your goals.
• Ask yourself challenging questions: Dive deep with questions like, "What did I do well today?" or "What could I have done differently?" This can reveal insights about your habits and behavior.
• Seek feedback: Sometimes, an outside perspective can highlight things you might not see. Ask trusted friends or mentors for honest feedback about your behavior and choices.

9. Seek Growth, Not Comfort

It's human nature to seek comfort and avoid pain, but growth often requires stepping out of our comfort zones. When you pursue growth over comfort, you open yourself to new experiences, learning, and the profound satisfaction that comes from overcoming challenges.

• Embrace new experiences: Try something new every month, whether it's a class, a hobby, or a travel destination. New experiences encourage growth and resilience.
• Set stretching goals: Goals that push your limits are more likely to lead to significant personal development. Make sure they are challenging yet achievable.
• Learn continuously: Adopt a mindset of lifelong learning. Read, listen to podcasts, attend workshops—whatever fuels your curiosity and broadens your understanding of the world.
• Face your fears: Growth often means doing things despite being afraid. By confronting your fears, you'll discover new strengths and increase your self-confidence.

10. Create a Comeback Plan

Everyone faces setbacks and failures, but not everyone knows how to bounce back. Creating a comeback plan is about going through your recovery on your own terms. It's a roadmap from where you are now to where you want to be, reclaiming your power along the way.

• Define your vision: Clearly define what taking your power back looks like for you. What goals do you want to achieve? How do you want to feel?
• Identify obstacles: Understand what got you off track in the first place. Recognizing these barriers is the first step in overcoming them.
• Outline actionable steps: Break down your goals into manageable actions. Focus on what you can start doing today to move closer to your vision.
• Seek support: Rally a support network of friends, family, or a coach who can offer encouragement and accountability.

Final Thoughts

Taking your power back isn’t a one-time thing but an ongoing process of self-discovery, boundary-setting, and growth. It requires courage, commitment, and compassion for yourself. Along this journey, remember to celebrate your victories, learn from setbacks, and stay true to your values and vision.

Frequently Asked Questions