12 Tips How To Keep a Relationship Strong and Happy

A relationship, just like any living, breathing entity, needs constant care, nourishment, and room to grow. Neglect it, and you're left with a breakup. But with love, communication, and mutual respect, you'll see it flourish.

Why Keeping a Relationship Strong and Happy is Key

At the heart of every strong and happy relationship lies the understanding that it’s more than just sharing a space or a last name. It's about building a foundation so solid that even during the storms, you find shelter in each other.

Psychologist John Gottman said, "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives." This sentiment is true on multiple levels. Relationships filled with love and understanding bring a sense of comfort, security, reducing stress and promoting mental health.

Besides, this happiness can have a positive ripple effect on our work, friendships, and how we interact with the world. Another reason for maintaining a strong connection is that within the safe bounds of a loving relationship, we find the courage to explore our ambitions, confront our fears, and evolve into our best selves.

Finally, the investment in maintaining a happy, strong bond also shows the value we put on our partner and the life we share. This effort is a clear message of love, respect, and commitment. It's in the day-to-day choices to prioritize your relationship, the decision to communicate openly, and honestly, and the mutual goal of going through life together with kindness, understanding, and supportive of one another.

12 Proven Ways to Maintain Your Relationship

1. Find New Adventures Together

Introducing novelty into your relationship such as new experiences together can reignite the spark that made your connection exciting in its early days. Whether it's trying a cuisine you've never had before, exercising together, or traveling to a new place, these adventures are meant to create new memories.

The idea is to step out of the comfort zone together, which will bring excitement and also strengthen your bond as you face new situations as a team. Even small adventures, like a road trip or a surprise date night, can revive your relationship. The goal is to keep the element of surprise alive and make each other feel valued and loved in unique ways.

2. Keep Your Independence

A healthy relationship blooms best when both partners have room to be themselves. Accept your individuality and give your partner to do the same. To do so, have personal hobbies, spend time with your own friends, and pursue individual goals. The goal is to maintain a healthy balance between your personal and shared lives. This balance is key as it encourages happiness and fulfillment outside your relationship.

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you." - Kahlil Gibran

3. Express Gratitude

It's amazing how three simple words, "I appreciate you," can make someone's day. Expressing gratitude is more than just about acknowledging big gestures; it’s equally, if not more, important to show appreciation for the smaller things.

• Did your partner make the bed this morning?
• Did he make you a cup of coffee?
• Did you have the breakfast ready while you were getting ready?

It's these everyday little things that, when acknowledged, contribute greatly to a happy relationship. The key is to be specific with your gratitude. Instead of a general "thanks," tell them "I love how you always know exactly what I need to feel better."

University research shows that couples who regularly express appreciation for one another experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This mutual respect and gratitude can also be seen as a buffer against the inevitable challenges your relationship may face. So, make it a daily practice to share something you’re grateful for about your partner, and watch as it changes the energy between you.

4. Set Boundaries and Respect Them

Effective boundary-setting involves clear communication about your needs, and equally, understanding and respecting your partner's limits. This could range from how you prefer to spend your time off, to how you manage conflicts. Here’s the thing - boundaries don’t restrict intimacy; they actually lead to deeper connection and trust.

For instance, if one partner needs solitary time to relax after work, respecting this can improve the quality of the time you spend together. The trick is not just in setting these boundaries, but in keeping the communication open as your relationship and individual needs evolve over time.

5. Keep the Fun Alive

Let's face it, life can get challenging. Between the grind of 9-5, the kids, and the routines of daily life, it's easy for relationships to fall into a state of predictability. However, keeping the fun alive in your relationship is vital. Simple things like playing board games, having a pillow fight, or even cooking together can bring that joy and laughter back into your lives.

Remember, it's not about the activity itself, but the joy and connection that comes from sharing these moments.

• Do you both enjoy the outdoors? plan a hike or a picnic in the park.
• Love stories? Have a book reading session with each other.

It’s about creating shared experiences that draw you closer, lighten the mood, and keep the spark alive.

6. Have Regular Date Nights

A date night is a time dedicated solely to both of you, away from the distractions and responsibilities of life. Setting aside time for regular date nights is a non-negotiable part of maintaining the health and happiness of your relationship. Whether it's dining out at a new restaurant, visiting a museum, or simply taking a nature walk, the essence of date night is about uninterrupted connection. It’s an opportunity to talk, to laugh, and to remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Here’s a tip: take turns planning date nights, and occasionally surprise each other. This mix of predictability and spontaneity can add an exciting dimension to your partnership. Plus, the anticipation of what’s to come can be a great source of joy itself. Welcome this time to reconnect and rekindle and make it an essential part of your relationship routine.

7. Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness in a relationship is the equivalent of releasing a heavy weight you've been carrying. It’s not about condoning mistakes, but understanding that holding onto grudges harms you more than anyone else.

Practicing forgiveness starts with open, honest communication about your feelings and grievances, followed by a sincere apology and a commitment to improve. Remember, forgiveness is a process; it will not happen overnight. But each step taken towards it is a step towards a healthier, happier relationship.

I'd also suggest you integrate some mindfulness or meditation in this process as they will help you to let go of resentment and choose empathy instead. By choosing forgiveness, you're choosing to prioritize the love and connection you share over the imperfections that are an inevitable part of any relationship.

8. Support Each Other’s Passions

Sharing life with someone doesn’t mean you have the exact same interests. In fact, it's the differences that can make your relationship richer. Supporting each other's passions means encouraging your partner to pursue the activities that bring them joy, even if it's not your thing.

This could be as simple as being a good listener, celebrating their achievements, or showing interest in learning more about their hobbies. When you support each other's pursuits, you're communicating that you value what brings them joy, which, in turn, strengthens the bond you share. An essential aspect of this support is also making sure that both partners have the time and space needed to engage with their passions.

9. Master Effective Communication

Effective communication is the foundation of any strong and happy relationship. It's more than just talking; it's about connecting, understanding, and empathizing.

• It all starts with active listening — focusing on what your partner is saying without formulating a response in your head. Remember, it’s not about agreeing on everything but understanding each other's perspectives.
• Use “I” statements to express your feelings without placing blame, such as “I feel hurt when…” This approach promotes a safe space for open dialogue.
• Don’t avoid discussing the tough topics; avoidance only breeds resentment.
• Schedule regular check-ins to talk about your feelings, aspirations, and any concerns.

This consistent effort to communicate clearly and compassionately will strengthen your relationship by making sure that minor misunderstandings don't turn into obstacles and resentment for one another.

10. Maintain Physical and Emotional Intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy are intertwined, each feeding into and strengthening the other. Physical closeness, through touches, hugs, and affectionate gestures, builds a sense of security and connection. Meanwhile, emotional intimacy involves sharing your deepest fears, joys, and dreams, cultivating a bond that runs deep. To maintain intimacy:

• Prioritize quality time together — disconnected from the distractions of technology and the outside world.
• Small gestures, like holding hands or sharing a hug, can significantly boost feelings of closeness and affection.
• Openly discuss your needs and desires, both physical and emotional, to ensure both of you feel understood and valued.

11. Share Financial Goals and Responsibilities

Money talks can often be tricky in relationships, but addressing financial goals and responsibilities is important to avoid misunderstandings down the line.

• Start by openly discussing your current financial situation, future aspirations, and any concerns.
• Establish shared goals, whether it’s saving for a home, planning for retirement, or budgeting for travel. Working together on a budget that accommodates both your needs creates a sense of teamwork.
• Allocate financial responsibilities in a way that feels fair, considering each other’s income and comfort levels.

This mutual understanding and teamwork will help reduce stress and strengthen your trust and unity. Remember, to stay open to adjustments and recalibrations as your life evolves.

12. Never Stop Learning About Each Other

The beauty of a relationship is that it's a never-ending journey of discovery. People change and grow, and a key to a happy relationship is staying curious about your partner.

• Make it a habit to regularly check in with each other's likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears.
• Encourage open dialogue that goes beyond the surface level, diving into hopes, dreams, and even the mundane details of daily life.

This ongoing curiosity keeps the relationship dynamic and exciting while remaining deeply connected. Don't forget to also practice mindfulness in your interactions, being fully present, and genuinely interested in your partner’s thoughts and feelings, can reveal new facets you may not have known, even after years together.

Final Thoughts

Building and maintaining a strong, happy relationship is a journey that requires effort, patience, and a lot of love. From expressing gratitude and building independence to mastering communication and sharing dreams, each step you take together fortifies your bond.

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection but progress—a continuous effort to grow together and strengthen your connection. As you go through this journey, cherish each moment, learn from the challenges, and celebrate your love’s depth and resilience.

Frequently Asked Questions